As women, we tend to be our own worst critics. We scroll though social media and see everyone’s perfect family photos, their perfectly clean houses, and their perfectly captured moments and think, wow she is such a better mom than me. I could never do that craft, I could never have such a beautiful home, I could never get my kids to sit still for such great photos. And on and on and on. Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others? Why do we have such a negative view of ourselves? I am starting a new series all about combating negative thoughts and negative self-image. Starting with this first post: Dear Self: You Are Enough.
Dear Self: You Are Enough
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If we allow it, negative thoughts will continually play in the background of our thoughts: you will never measure up, you will never have it all together, you will never look like her. This pattern is a dangerous path to follow. This negativity will weigh us down, depress and oppress us. We will begin to lack the motivation we need to be productive, and our relationships with our children, spouse, family, and friends will begin to suffer. Negative thoughts lead to negative actions and reactions, which lead to negative results.
Change our Thought Patterns
When we have a negative thought, we must dismiss it immediately and replace it with something positive.
Negative Thought: I will never measure up.
Changes to: I will not compare myself to others. I am unique, strong, talented and successful in my own ways.
Tip: List your strengths, talents, and successes and refer to your list as often as you need to remind yourself how wonderful you are!
Negative Thought: I will never have it all together.
Changes to: I have a plan in place to be as productive as I can be. Things are going to come up that I can’t change, but I can handle any challenge that is thrown my way.
Tip: Make a flexible productivity schedule that allows you to maximize your time and stick with it as much as you can. Evaluate you schedule often, what’s working well and what isn’t, and change it accordingly.
Negative Thought: I will never look like her.
Changes to: My body isn’t perfect, but I’m beautiful.
Tip: List the things you love about your body. Maybe it’s your hair, eyes, lips, whatever it is, make a list! Then make a list of the things you would like to change (your weight, your fitness level). If it’s something you CAN change, put the work in required to make that change, and feel good about your progress. Tough I know, but possible! If it’s something you can’t change, like your height, embrace it and learn to love it (and wear some heels!)
Negative Self Talk
If our thoughts are negative, our words will be too. From an early age, we are bombarded with images telling us how we should dress, do our make-up, what size we should wear. We must help our daughters (and sons!) see their beauty and worth is not found in such unrealistic places, and to do that, we cannot talk negatively about ourselves. If all we do is point out our flaws, our children will learn to do the same. Is this really what we want? We MUST choose to speak life with our words, especially about ourselves.
Just as we must change negative thoughts to something positive, we must also change our words. If you are having trouble coming up with your own, use the words your Creator has spoken about you. The Bible is filled with scriptures that will encourage and lift you up. Here are some of my favorites:
Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Psalm 139:14 – I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Proverbs 2: 15-18 – She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed.
Other Helpful Resources
If you are looking for additional resources for changing your thoughts and words, check out these wonderful books. Simply click on the image:
Some of my other posts to help you cope with tough issues and live your best life:
Dear Self: You Are Enough
My one hope is that this post helps you see just how fabulous you really are. That you start to believe: Yes I AM beautiful. I AM strong. Yes I AM talented. I AM Enough. I would love for you to hit share and send this to other wonderful women who needs to hear these words. Also, be sure to subscribe below if you haven’t already so you don’t miss the other parts of my Dear Self series, plus gain access all my FREE resources and future posts.
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