happy family mother and daughter playing at home in a tent

The Discipline Techniques That Really Work

This post  may contain affiliate links. If you purchase an item through one of these links, I might receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products that I love and have used personally.  In addition, foreverymama.org is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.” 

The Discipline Techniques That Really Work

Regardless of popular belief, children need discipline to become successful, well-rounded adults. It is important to note though, punishment and discipline are NOT the same thing. Discipline is training, instructing, and giving direction. It is TEACHING the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, as well as how to process and react to their emotions appropriately.

Children do not automatically understand how to deal with big feelings such as anger, sadness, disappointment and hurt. It is our job as parents to help them navigate through their emotions, knowing that its ok to feel the way they do and how they should react as a result. It’s ok to express frustration, but it’s not ok to hit others. It’s ok to feel sad and to cry, it’s not ok to scream and throw a tantrum. And so on.

As we teach our children to have a healthy balance between behaviors and emotions, we must also have rules and consequences in place to keep them safe and create boundaries. Here are some discipline techniques to use for successfully implementing rules and consequences in your home.

Involve Your Children in Creating Rules/Consequences

As a classroom teacher, I always involved my students in creating rules/consequences in our classroom. We discussed expected behaviors, how we should treat each other, and what should happen if a student chooses not to obey the rules. I found that most of the time, the students were harsher than me when determining acceptable and unacceptable behaviors, and the consequences for disobedience. If your children are old enough, I encourage you to follow this same process in your home. Have a discussion, establish expected behaviors and what will happen if the rules are not followed. This cultivates a sense of ownership and places the responsibility to act appropriately on your children.

Be Consistent

Once you have worked with your children to create the rules they are to follow and what happens when they disobey, you must be consistent and follow through. Pre-determined consequences must always be enforced when your child intentionally breaks the rules. Consistency develops respect for boundaries while empty threats with no action will likely encourage unwanted behaviors. Always following through also helps your children understand that rules and consequences are the natural order of the world. To be successful in society and in the workforce, one must understand that laws are in place that must be followed or serious repercussions may have a negative impact on their lives, including jail time and/or loss of their job.

Model and Reinforce Positive Behavior

Discipline should not always be a negative response to an undesirable behavior. Acknowledging and praising appropriate behaviors can keep your children moving in a positive direction. It is also important to redirect inappropriate reactions by modeling how your child should have responded in a certain situation. I am currently working on modeling behaviors with my 5-year-old daughter. She doesn’t always react to her younger brother in an appropriate manner. When she is frustrated with him, her first reaction is to hit and push him. Along with consequences for her behavior, we discuss other ways she should have reacted. And when she reacts to him in a positive way, her father and I make a point to acknowledge and praise her good choices. Modeling and reinforcing acceptable behaviors is a process that requires patience and time. But if you are consistent, you will begin to see positive, lasting changes in your children’s actions and reactions.

Accept Age-Appropriate Behaviors and Ignore Unimportant Behaviors

Some behaviors are completely normal and age appropriate. You can’t expect small children to sit still and be quiet for long periods of time. Young children are messy and loud and we can’t assume they will act otherwise, especially at home. I suggest you plan ahead for long trips or special occasions with snacks, toys, and age appropriate activities to keep them busy (see my post How to Engage and Entertain Your Little Ones).  Age appropriate behaviors should simply be ignored because they can’t be helped. As your children get older, their behavior changes, therefore their rules and consequences must change also. This is a great time to discuss expectations and get their input.

Do Not Discipline When You Are Angry

Sometimes our children test us to the limit. In these moments of intense frustration, it’s easy to yell, say and do things we don’t mean. I get it, I’ve been there more than once. But, sweet mama, when we react this way, we are doing the opposite of what we are trying to teach our children, how to control their emotions and respond correctly. If you feel you are at your breaking point, tell your children that their behavior is inappropriate and send them to their room until you can calmly address them and deliver the agreed upon consequences. And when you mess up and react in anger, because you probably will, apologize. This is a lesson in itself. We all make mistakes and its important that we admit we were wrong. It teaches our children to extend grace and forgiveness to others, and to work toward correcting their own poor decisions.

Resources for Positive Parenting

If your goal is to create a more positive relationship with your children and to learn more about positive discipline techniques, I encourage you to check out these resources on Amazon. Just click on the image to see the resource:

               

            

For more parenting tips, be sure to follow me on social media. You will find daily posts on Facebook and Twitter written by me and other mamas, including encouragement for everyday, parenting tips, products we love, and more! Follow me on Pinterest for more parenting and relationship posts, recipes, beautiful decor for the home, self-care ideas, learning activities for your children, fun family activities, and much, much more! For real-time photos, inspirational quotes, product reviews and more, join me on Instagram.

Positive Reinforcement

Discipline is hard work and requires diligence and consistency. But it is so important that our children begin learning at an early age they have boundaries and certain behavior expectations. And they will learn to respect you, others, and the world around them.

Which of these techniques work well for you? Which ones do you struggle with? What are some other discipline techniques you have found helpful? Please share in the comments!

 

 

Productivity Facebook Cover Photo

7 Habits that Save Time and Boost Productivity

This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase an item through one of these links, I might receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products that I love and have used personally.  In addition, foreverymama.org is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.”

7 Habits that Save Time and Boost Productivity

As mamas, we have so many things to juggle. From housework to homework and everything in between; it’s easy to get overwhelmed by our never-ending to do lists. Today I want to discuss 7 habits that save time and boost productivity which have helped make my days seem less daunting. You can adopt these same practices to better organize your time and get more things checked off your lists.

Wake Up Early/Begin With Quiet Time

The first thing I did to improve my productivity and make the most of my time was to start waking up earlier. This allows extra time in the morning to drink my coffee, have quiet time reading/jotting down my thoughts/praying without interruption from my children. This quiet time gives me better focus and a correct mind-set for the day ahead, instead of rushing around to get things done.

Organize Your Day for Success

During my morning quiet time, I always take a few moments to look at what needs to be done that day. I think about the amount of time it will take for each item on my to do list and schedule my day accordingly. A daily plan of action helps organize my time to efficiently complete the tasks that need to be done, and frees up time for more enjoyable activities, including fun adventures with my children.

Start With Your Most Important Tasks

Part of organizing your day for success is to begin with your most important tasks for that day. If you can get the more important tasks done first, you can then easily tackle the smaller, less pertinent chores in quick order. I don’t know about you, but I feel a greater sense of accomplishment and my stress levels lessen when I can get those big jobs out of the way. It also makes me more motivated to keep going and finish what needs to get done.

End the Day Like You Begin It

I always like to end my day with quiet time to reflect my accomplishments for that day and what I am grateful for. Keeping a positive outlook in the midst of a busy schedule is key to your success, so always strive to focus on the good things in your life. It is possible to be busy and happy at the same time! I also take time to pick up any clutter that has accumulated during the day so that I don’t begin the next day with a mess from the day before. This is also a good time to do a brain dump of anything that’s weighing on you, so that you don’t take it to bed with you.

These are some of my favorite products for writing down goals, tasks, and scheduling out my day. Click on the picture to view each product: 

                     

 

                            

Make a Plan/Plan Ahead

At the end of the week, I always take time to look at my schedule for the following week and write down a general plan for each day, adding more details as other tasks pop up that need my attention. I also take time to make a meal plan so I’m not scrambling to decide what’s for lunch and dinner at the last-minute. Based on my meal plan, I can write down my grocery list, which makes my trips to the store more time efficient and less likely to forget something I need. Planning ahead can really make a difference toward saving time and being more productive.

Be Flexible

Of course the best laid out plans don’t always succeed. Things come up that are beyond your control and you must be flexible to accommodate these road blocks, because let’s face it, life is unpredictable. You get sick, your children get sick, they don’t behave (ahem) like they should, or they simply need more attention. And sometimes a plan just flat-out fails. If things aren’t going your way, take a deep breath and adjust your plan. What has to get done? What can wait until tomorrow or another day? As a very structured and organized person by nature, I can tell you I’m learning the importance of being flexible the hard way. But it does lead to a happier and more stress free life.

Write Down What Works and What Doesn’t

If you do have a plan that fails, the best thing you can do is write down what is working and what isn’t. Think about how you can do things differently next time and put your new plan into practice.

Save time and boost productivity

These 7 habits will help you become more productive and save time. My best advice…plan, plan, plan and write it down! What productivity tips and tricks do you use? Please share in the comments!

Check out my social media accounts for more tips, tricks, and hacks to make your life easier!

You will find daily posts on Facebook and Twitter written by me and other mamas, including encouragement for everyday, products we love, and more!

Follow me on Pinterest for more productivity and time-saving posts, recipes, beautiful decor for the home, self-care ideas, learning activities for your children, fun family activities, and much, much more!

For real-time photos, inspirational quotes, product reviews and more, join me on Instagram.

Be sure to subscribe below to access my FREE Meal Plan/Shopping List/Daily Schedule bundle. Also check out my post 3 Ways to Conquer Cleaning for time-saving cleaning tips!