Parenting

The Parenting Handbook: Developing Positive Parent and Child Relationships

Positive parent and child relationships are one of the most essential parts of effective parenting. A positive relationship is the foundation upon which we can build trust, encourage honest and open communication, teach positive behaviors, and so much more. In this post, The Parenting Handbook: Developing Positive Parent and Child Relationships, I will discuss how we can create these kinds of bonds with our children.

The Parenting Handbook: Developing Positive Parent and Child Relationships

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How to Develop Positive Parent and Child Relationships

If you are looking for ways to strengthen your bond with your children, here are ten different strategies you can use to develop more positive parent and child relationships. You can also gain access to my FREE checklist (20 Positive Parenting Strategies that Work) by subscribing at the end of this post.

Communicate on Their Level

Connect with your child through age appropriate play, learning activities, games, or by teaching them something new. Quality time spent together helps strengthen your bond and opens the door to honest communication

Make One on One Time a Priority

If you have more than one child, it can be difficult to get uninterrupted time with each of your children. But I believe it is an essential part of creating positive relationships. Find a hobby you can enjoy together, go for a walk, go out for lunch. Anything that allows you to spend quality one on one time with each of your children. You can discover so much about their personality, strengths, and have genuine, thoughtful conversations about what is going on in their lives.

Get Involved in Their Life

I know we are all busy, but we must find ways to stay connected in our children’s lives. We should have regular conversations about what is happening during their days. We should be regularly communicating with their teachers and coaches, volunteering at their schools or coaching their team. What kind of friends do they have? Have them over to your home regularly to see what kind of influence they are. As our children get older, they may resent this level of involvement, but it is necessary to keep them on track and out of trouble.

Have Fun Together

We all want our children’s respect, but we must also have times when we can be silly and just have fun together. My dad always joked around with us and it’s those times I remember most fondly. So be sure to have fun with your kids and make memories they can look back on with a smile.

Build Trust

Our children need to know they can rely on us. If you say you will do something, do it. If your child tells you something in confidence, respect that (unless someone else is in danger). When they make a bad decision, they must face the consequences and take responsibility yes, but they also need support and love from us, no matter what. Let them know everyone makes mistakes, maybe even admit a few of your own, if age appropriate. If our children know they can trust us, they are more likely to confide in us.

Give Advice

Our children will face difficult situations from time to time, especially as they get older. It is during these times they will need our guidance and direction most. If they handle a situation poorly, discuss with them ways they could handle it differently next time. The key is giving them the wisdom and tools they need to handle future situations appropriately on their own.

Have Regular, Relaxed Conversations

Children, especially adolescents and teens, are more likely to open up in a relaxed environment. Try talking with them while riding in the car, cooking together, or taking a walk. It will also spark more conversation if you open up about yourself: your hobbies, interests, fond memories of your childhood, anything relevant to the conversation.

Listen Without Distractions

When our children are trying to have a conversation with us, we must do our best to listen without distractions. They need to know that we really hear them and care about what they have to say. If we are always half listening, there will come a time when they no longer  try to talk with us. Even if it doesn’t seem very important to us, what they are saying is important to them. Remove any distractions, look them in the eyes, and really listen

Include Your Children in Making Decisions

Allowing children to be part of the decision-making process will increase their confidence and encourage independence. Younger children can weigh in on smaller decisions, like choosing what outfit to wear or what to have for dinner. Involve older children in more important family matters to show you respect their opinions.

Encourage Your Children to Face Challenges and Find Independence

When we have strong parent/child relationships, our children will feel empowered to face any new challenge that comes their way. When we show our support, we are pushing them to become more self-sufficient over time. This may translate into allowing your teenager to handle their own laundry or cook some family meals to ready them for college life. Or empowering your child to stand up to bullies. Empowerment happens through gradual instruction. Teach your child how to take on more demanding chores or tasks. Role-play with them through stressful social situations. Then, give them feedback to encourage future progress.

Revise Rules and Consequences When Needed

Rules and consequences should change as children get older. Children should gradually be given more freedoms, yet understand that increased privileges come with increased responsibility. They must also understand that increased responsibility leads to more significant consequences when rules are broken. Every child is different and can handle more freedoms at different stages in their life. Use your own discretion and decide when this is best for your child.

Resources for Positive Parenting

If your goal is to create a more positive relationship with your children and to learn more about positive discipline techniques, I encourage you to check out these resources on Amazon. Just click on the image to see the resource:

               

            

Need advice for Positive Discipline Strategies? Check out my post: The Discipline Techniques That Really Work.

Don’t Forget!

You can gain access to my FREE checklist (20 Positive Parenting Strategies that Work) by subscribing to my blog below.

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16 thoughts on “The Parenting Handbook: Developing Positive Parent and Child Relationships

  1. Good read and tips too! I’m not a mommy/parent but as part of education psychology, I think these are crucial to a child’s success. All the points don’t necessarily mean babying them either, just good values and support for them.

  2. I totally agree with this strategies. I believe that what are we doing now as parents will reflect later in the child life. It’s a big responsibility and we should be really careful.
    Great article, very inspirational. Keep doing the great work!

  3. Our second child is on the way and we are already preparing to have one on one time with our oldest. She is going to be a great big sister, but it will definitely be an adjustment for everyone.

    1. That’s great! It was an adjustment for my daughter when my son was born (she was three at the time). Like you, we made sure to give her one on one time and it really helped.

  4. Thanks for sharing, really informative, parenting can be hard, rewarding but also challenge as it comes with no manual and you learn as you go.But reading a post like this only helps make things easier, collect different ideas from different places to help mums deal with almost any situation.

  5. I love your point about listening to our kids without distractions. It’s so tempting to keep working while your child is trying to have a conversation. Usually because they don’t always have the best timing. 😉 But giving them our undivided attention tells them they matter in that moment!

  6. I have a 13 year old son and 9 year old twin girls. I have longed to have one on one time with each of them. My issue is that my husband works offshore. He is gone 6 months or more out of the year. By the time we get home from school Ballet Tap Fencing, get dinner homework and baths I am completely exhausted. My day starts at 5 am. I hit the floor running. Any suggestions for me to make this work? Thanks?

    1. Wow super busy! Just by this comment I can tell you are a wonderful mom! What about weekends? Do you have free time then? If so that would be a great time to do something one on one. Even if it’s something at home. If you can’t make one on one time work during this busy season of your life, I suggest focusing on quality time when you can. Conversations in the car ride or dinner or baths. Genuinely listening and having meaningful conversations are what matters most. Hope this helps! I’m happy to offer more suggestions if you need them! Just let me know ?

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